Dartmouth Jitney

The Dartmouth Jitney (Coach)

There are few times I can recall when riding in a coach bus for any amount of distance didn’t haunt me before it started.

I used to take the Fung Wah from NYC to Boston.  But after multiple bus fires and crashes, they were forced to shut down last year.

Dartmouth Jitney (Coach)
Photo Credit: Boston Globe

I had realized that I had every right to question how safe a $15 bus ride is long before this happened, though.

In 2010, I upgraded to Peter Pan Bus Company.  Not bad for the NYC to Boston trip.  Also, it was a notable upgrade from the Fung Wah (enough to justify spike in price, anyway.)

When I went back to America, for three weeks in April, I needed to make the most of my time.  I had heard for years that the Dartmouth Jitney (Coach) was a great way to make the trip from NYC to New Hampshire.  The DC travels from just outside Grand Central Station to Lebanon and Hanover, New Hampshire in about 5 hours.

Trust me, if you’re trying to get to northern NH, you don’t want to take a bus to Boston and have to switch over to another route all the way up north.

I knew that riding in a coach created to shuttle wealthy NYC kids to and from Dartmouth was going to be a different experience, but I had no idea that it would resemble that one time I got upgraded to first class on Delta.

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The seats were leather and cushion.

There were outlets on either side of my seat.

There was loads of leg room (which at five feet tall is still a luxury.)

There was a coffee bar.

Best of all, though, by far, were the other passengers.

Women aged 45-70 who live between absurdly priced pieces of real estate in Hanover and Manhattan and like to slum it on the Coach after a weekend of upper-class debauchery.

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I don’t watch any of the “Real Housewives” shows, but I’m willing to bet the ladies on the Coach could fit in nicely with that lot.

Also, the producers of the Housewives franchise should definitely look into a Real Housewives of Hanover series.  I would be petty and hilarious for so many reasons.

First off, they knew the driver by name as they addressed him while handing off their Louis Vitton bags to him.

The driver played along by showing a “genuine” interest in their weekend activities.

So… what did you ladies get up to this weekend <fake laugh>?”

“Oh, it was a quiet one.  Just a bit of shopping, the theater, brunch, and anal bleaching!”

Okay, I made that last bit up.  But did I?  Really?

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Don’t worry.  I’m gonna wrap this up.

My bus ride was at 7:45 am on a Monday morning, so I was hoping it would be quiet.

And it was quiet.  The ladies of leisure took to a separate rows of seats, put their feet up, and blocked out the daylight (and land transportation energy field) by covering themselves with designer eye masks and pashminas.

Except for that one lady, who was doing yoga poses across from me in her Lululemons unapologetically.

If you wear leggings that cost more than my entire outfit (including my shoes), there’s just no way we’ll ever understand one another.  I don’t care how much we both enjoy fitness.

We may have been sharing a bus, but we certainly don’t live in the same world.

To be honest, the entire bus ride felt like an anthropological experiment.

I didn’t make eye contact with the other subjects or disturb their natural habitat and because of that, I got to experience why the other half will voluntarily travel by coach.

The takeaway?

For an extra $125, you can probably avoid this:

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But not this:

Dartmouth Coach
Photo Credit: Bravo

The choice is yours.

 

largs

Hill Walking In Largs

After three weeks of having the fantastic (sarcasm), summer weather of Scotland, Luke and I finally got to get out on a Saturday and be with nature.

largs

One of the things I love the most about Scotland is that, no matter where you are at any given moment, you can be near cows.  A fact that makes me question my love of cheeseburgers almost daily.  I understand people who don’t eat meat when I am staring into these eyes.

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I am eating more turkey burgers now.  My compromise.  Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by turkeys.

Don’t judge me because I’m already judging myself.

I was born in Vermont, so nothing lifts my spirits more than to walk through sheep shit, cowpies, swamp-like patches, and territorial livestock.

Nothing.

I even let my father take a look at the view.  He always loved hiking and constantly reminded me that placing myself in nature is the one true salvation of human life.

So, this walk was really for you, Dad.

Hill Walking In Largs

It’s cold at the biotch.

I love to go to the beach in July.  As I was walking along the boardwalk in Largs, I was texting with my friend who is in Philidelphia.  She was telling me she was planning to spend the day at the beach, and I let her know that I was also at the beach on this Saturday in July.  Wearing two fucking coats.

Hill Walking In Largs

I’m not gonna lie.  I hate not having a real summer. However, I don’t miss oppressive heat and humidity.  I do have a bit of a chuckle when it is 68 degrees Fahrenheit and people are like, “it’s ROASTING oot”.

Roasting? Hmm. If by roasting they mean it’s warm enough some days in July to wear only one coat and dare I say it, sunglasses?  Then yes, I guess you could say that 68 degrees Fahrenheit is roasting.

Hill Walking In Largs
#megafilter

I also love that I was able to add to my collection of abandoned Irn Bru container photos.  There’s something provocative to me about the nation’s best-selling soft drink containers occurring” organically” in nature.

Hill Walking In Largs

Inevitably, it started to rain.  So, we returned to Glasgow and got stuck into Stranger Thingswhich I highly recommend you watch.

Hill Walking In Largs
Photo credit: Breathecast.com

I, for one, am super excited to see Winona Ryder in something awesome again. I love her. I don’t even care about her Vicodin five finger discount saga of the early 2000’s. I totally owned a “Free Winona” t-shirt.

Hill Walking In Largs
Photo credit: Hello Magazine

To make a long story short, it was a good weekend.

Hill walking in Largs. Irn Bru containers in nature. #ExpatLife #AnAmericanLivingInGlasgow… Click To Tweet

Was yours?

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12 observations about pretty little liars episode 7x04

12 Biggest Observations From Pretty Little Liars Episode 7×04

So, last night’s episode of Pretty Little Liars (which is this morning’s episode over here in the UK) 7×04, was action-packed and full of all kinds of “bitch, please” moments.

Here are the 12 most memorable moments of episode 7×04:

  1. Vehicular manslaughter is not first-degree murder.  The girls did not drive out toward the pin drop on the GPS with the intention of killing Elliot Rollins.  Although, why do they ALWAYS have four shovels with them?  I don’t even own a shovel and certainly never kept one in the trunk of my car.
  2. Spencer, I love you, but your comment “What do we tell the cops? That Hanna can’t tell the left pedal from the right?!”  That’s cold, Spence.
  3. Ali would be amazing at “the claw” machine.  Seriously.  She just stuck her hand in the dirt and pulled out Elliot’s security keycard without any need for a do-over.  #AliClawLaurentis
  4. Does Emily seriously work 2-hour shifts at the Radley?  She seemingly worked an entire shift with Spencer sitting there chugging martinis?  Also, Emily, you knew that Spencer had to drive Elliot’s car to the train station, purchase a ticket, and board the fucking train – why are you serving her tons of alcohol?  You guys already killed one dude with a car this evening.  Just saying.  #EmilyFieldsWorkEthics
  5. Caleb crying through the door about stroking Spencer’s chin dimple on a street corner was touching, but also, I feel like he needed a day to come up with that speech.  Also, Ashley Benson’s crying game is on point.  #CalebIsCoDependent
  6. Alison DID follow Charlotte into the bell tower of the church the night she died, but when she left, Charlotte was still alive.  This event is becoming the new “that night” scenario of PLL.  #WhoKilledCharlotteIsSheEvenDead
  7. Loved the “Keebler Elf” shout out while Hanna and Aria tried to relocate their car by the tree mostly likely to have housed one of the cracker eating critters.  Also, I’m glad Mona showed up with the car before these two set fire to it in a heavily wooded area.  Adding a massive wildfire arson charge to the evening isn’t what they needed.  #MonaThinksOfEverything
  8. Spencer totally used Elliot’s credit card to pay for the drinks she was slamming with the new detective she almost banged in the elevator.  Woops.  #DrunkSpencer
  9. Best line of the show goes to Jenna Marshall and her response to Emily’s question, “And you’re staying at the Radley?” to which she replied, “Oh, didn’t you hear?  My house blew up.”  #YasJennaYassss
  10.  Hanna and Mona rubbed their fingerprints and scent all over Elliot’s car.  They might as well have keyed, “Mona + Hanna BFF” on the hood.
  11. Elliot’s real name is, Archer Dunhill, but he’s not A.D.  I know that Marlene lies about things sometimes, but I believe she told us that Elliot and Mary are working with A.D. and that individual is, UBER A.   Also, he’s friendly with Jenna, and that means things are going to get even MORE confusing.
  12. Don’t worry, dear, Mary Drake is “in charge now.”

We were told by Marlene that the Liars would make “the biggest mistake of their lives” and that this error will be the FUEL to fire Uber A’s final game.  I, like many other viewers, have been wondering what the hell the “most dangerous A of all” has done that is so terrible compared to any other A — so, hopefully now that the girls done fucked up, we’ll all start to see things get scandalous.

As seen in the promo for 7×05, “Along Comes Mary.”

 

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