The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane

When Pippi Longstocking Met Norman Bates

Forward/Forewarn:  2016 has been one shitshow of a year.  It’s not even over yet, and I’m fucking done.  I quite honestly can’t take hearing anything else about Donald Trump, and he hasn’t even been inaugurated yet.  So, in an attempt to distract myself from my boring research papers and the shitshow happening back home in the USA, I have been distracting myself with newly added Netflix features.  So, I’m probably going to write shit about films I watch and the observations I make.  

I (repeatedly) tell people that I live under a rock.  I do.  And I live under said rock, mostly, because I think a lot of stuff is terrible/dumb.  Like, someone was talking to me about Vanderpump Rules the other day, and I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about.  Then, after googling it, I wish I still didn’t.

Their response to my Vanderpump feelings was…

when pippi longstocking met norman bates
Photo credit: Bravo/Google

I’ve been called worse.

Anyhoo, this isn’t a post about that annoying and vapid shit.

It is a post about how I managed to live 36 years and not watch the film The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane starring a young Jodie Foster.

All I kept thinking while watching this movie was, ‘this is the story of Pippi Longstocking meets Norman Bates’.

Jodie Foster plays Rynn, (which is SO creepy because some of my friends called me “Rin” and “Rinny”), a thirteen (or fourteen) year old eccentric girl living in a New England house with her father – who is ‘seemingly’ never there.

During the first 45 minutes of the film, viewers don’t know what the fuck is going on with Rynn.  She continuously tells people (including a young Martin Sheen playing a paedophile) that her father (a published poet) is either ‘in the study/asleep/or with his publisher in NYC’.

(Spoiler:  Rynn’s dad is dead.)  

All hell breaks loose when Rynn’s crotchety landlady (and mother of creepy Martin Sheen), Mrs Hallet, shows up and demands to speak to her father.  She makes several attempts to outsmart Rynn and divulge the fact that she knows she is living on her own and up to something.

On her final attempt, Mrs Hallet finds an awful truth in the basement, slips, hits her head, and becomes the SECOND corpse in the cellar.  The other one being Rynn’s estranged mother whom her father instructed her to poison and kill as per his dying wish/instruction (which we find out later.)

Rynn then makes friends with the nephew of the town’s most incompetent officer, a local magician named Mario.

Fun fact:  The actor who played Mario, Scott Jacoby, is the dude who played Dorthy Zbornak’s son on several episodes of The Golden Girls.  

when pippi longstocking met norman bates
Photo credit: IMDB/Google

Mario isn’t even slightly concerned that he has befriended a bordering on serial killer and even participates in cleaning up her crimes.  I mean, we learn that she has done all of this for what she believes to be the right reasons. Rynn isn’t a bad girl.  She is an eccentric girl who is a victim of a custody battle between dysfunctional people.

The crotchety old landlady, a known bitch about town, was just collateral damage.

Hollywood often makes children look evil, creepy, and downright demonic at times.  Just think about the number of films dedicated to hoards of adult-slaying children living among cornfields.

So what the hell does this movie, or main character have in common with Pippi Longstocking?  Much like Pippi Longstocking, Rynn is a strong young lady who has been empowered by her father.  Maybe she didn’t have a shitload of gold, a pet monkey, or wash her floors by skating on brushes, but Rynn and Pippi are sisters from another mister.

They both know how to get shit done.

Both Pippi and Rynn were able to  Kevin McCallister a few people throughout their adventures, because seriously, adults can be meddling assholes sometimes.

when pippi longstocking met norman bates
Photo credit: Google

And as we’ve witnessed over the past year, most adults cannot be entrusted with important, life-altering decisions.

Okay, but the what the hell does this movie, or the main character have in common with Norman Bates?  Rynn murders her mother with a poisonous chemical.   Rynn learned how to preserve the body of her dead mother  (she looked it up at the library, duh.)  She also had a somewhat unconventional relationship with her father in which he kept her isolated from school and socialisation while also convincing her not to trust outsiders, including her mother whom he instructed her to kill.

Sure, Rynn doesn’t dress up like her father or throw her voice to carry on conversations with her dissociative personalities, but even still, she is not like other thirteen-year-old girls.  The last similarity between Rynn Jacobs and Norman Bates is the impression we get that she will continue to “remove” any adult who stands to threaten her independence.  In the final scene of the film, Frank Hallet (the pedo son of her crotchety landlady) creeps out from hiding in the cellar to tell Rynn that he found evidence that she killed his mother.  He offers to stay quiet in exchange for dominance over her to which her response was to poison his tea and kill him.

when pippi longstocking met norman bates
“Cheers, fuckface.” Photo credit: Google

Spoiler again:  This is how the film ends.

It’s not like Rynn stabbed the guy in the shower while wearing one of those glasses, nose, and moustache masks, or anything.  But we also don’t get to know Rynn as an adult. She’s bound to be a bit imbalanced after the turn of events.

Pippi Longstocking could bench press a horse and turn herself into a propeller, but she didn’t kill anyone.  She was excellent at outsmarting grown-ups.

Norman Bates could make a killer cup of tea but also killed people.  He was excellent at preserving the remains for future lunch dates.

In conclusion, I didn’t go to film school.

Clearly.

Have you seen this film?  Were you a Pippi Longstocking fan?  I used to follow the girl who played Pippi in the newer movie from the 80’s, but her political views on Twitter were horrible, so I had to unfollow.  

Also, I hate social media.  

newsignature

 

Caleb Rivers Could Be Mary Drake’s Son

Caleb Rivers Could Be Mary Drake’s Son

Caleb Rivers could be Mary Drake’s son.

Okay, okay.  We’re all making theories.  We’re all running out of brain cells with which we can (not) stop ourselves from utilising on Marlene King’s mindfuck of a mystery that is Pretty Little Liars.  

I don’t have much to go on.  However, upon a rewatch.  (Yes, I’m in grad school and have a shit ton of school work, and yet STILL find the time to theorise of this god forsaken show!)

But I digress.

Upon a rewatch episode 3×19 – “What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?” – Hanna finds out that Caleb’s ‘Uncle-Daddy’, Jamie Doyle, lives in Amish Country.  

I know that the WB backlot probably only has one barn to use for 25 television shows, but the barn Jamie is working in looks pretty familiar.

via GIPHY

And then in 7×03, “The Talented Mr Rollins” Aria and Hanna visit Amish Country to find out more about Elliot Rollins.

 

via GIPHY

But back to Caleb…

We don’t know anything about Caleb’s “real” mother, Claudia Dawson.  We are aware she lives in Montecito, CA and that she has a shit ton of cash.

We know that when Caleb was 5/6 years old, his aunt left him with a babysitter and nobody ever came back for him.

I know, why would Claudia admit to being Caleb’s mother (and have a PI track him down) if he wasn’t hers?

Maybe because she believes that the Caleb we know is her son.

In 3×04, “Birds of a Feather“, we see a computer screen accessing Radley’s patient database removing visitor restrictions for Mona.

‘A’ is at the Montecito Airport – presumably to intimidate  Caleb’s ‘mother’ and run her off the road.  WHY?

Again, WHY?  That’s a lot of effort to just get back at Hanna.  I suppose that Caleb is sticking his nose in, but again, there has to be more as to why ‘A’ would target Caleb’s mother.

Caleb goes out to visit his mother and comes back with an expensive Mercedes-Benz and new clothing – she let him drive back to Pennsylvania on his own in her car?

I don’t know.  It all seems a bit odd.

Maybe Jamie ‘Uncle-Daddy’ Doyle had a thing for Radley hotties. Perhaps at the same time, he was having a relationship with Caleb’s mother he ALSO had a relationship with Mary Drake.

Maybe Jamie was a patient at Radley also?

Is it possible that Jamie kidnapped Caleb, and that’s why at the age of six he was eventually “left with a babysitter”, and they never came back for him?

Could Caleb have been switched with Claudia’s real son?

From the tone of Caleb’s early childhood stories, he was a kid placed in dangerous situations at a young age, rather than born into one.

I mean, c’mon, you (usually) don’t end up sleeping in high school HVAC system at sixteen if you come from a stable affair.

I mean, unless you’re Alison.  Well, technically she was sleeping rough, but, again, her family is super fucked up too.

Anyhoo.

I also find it very suspicious that we’ve never met Caleb’s mother, but then again, we’ve never met Jenna’s or Toby’s folks either.

Or Noel’s for that matter.

Also, Caleb just happened to “bump into Spencer” in Spain during the flash forward?

I’ve had some weird random connections in life.

However, we all know that there are no coincidences in Rosewood (or between any of its previous residents!).

I’m not saying that Caleb is AD.

I’m not even suggesting that he’s bad, but he has always been sketchy in a vigilante type of way to me.

I need to stop watching this show.

You’re killing us all, Marlene.

Could Caleb Rivers be Mary Drake's son? I think it's totally possible. #pllchat #calebisAD Click To Tweet

Any thoughts?

 

Out on the Lanai

Out on the Lanai

So, the other day, while cruising the Interwebs, I stumbled upon something spectacular.

Wanna know what it was?

A Golden Girls podcast.

Whaaaaaaaaat?

That’s right.  A GOLDEN GIRLS PODCAST.

via GIPHY

It’s called “Out on the Lanai” and it is fantabulous.

Out on the Lanai: A Golden Girls Podcast
Photo Credit: Out on the Lanai

Ever since I turned 30, the Golden Girls have been, like, my religion.

If I’m sad, sick, tired, or whatever extreme mood I may be in, I know there’s an episode or two of the Girls that will take my mind off of my life.  Well, at least for 20 minutes to an hour.

I can’t even tell you what my favourite episode is; I don’t think it’s even possible to have just one?

I also can’t even tell you which GG is my favourite.

Though, I did take a “Which Golden Girl Are You?” quiz and as it stands now, I got Sophia and Dorothy.

Out on the Lanai

I’m not mad.  In fact, my best friend always used to tell me that I was like a mixture of Dorothy’s sarcasm and level-headedness and Sophia’s sass and wit.

via GIPHY

So, the hosts of “Out on the Lanai”, H. Alan Scott and Kerri Doherty, are super hilarious.  And they often have equally entertaining guests on their podcast episodes.

I’m all kinds of jealous that I don’t have another GG enthusiast to do a podcast with because the show is timeless.  Sure, some of the social issues they touched on are dated, but let’s face it – this show will be treasured forever, and it is irreplaceable.

One of the things I love the most about the OOTL podcast is that they do a “golden take away” from each episode – a tiny bit of wisdom you can take to heart and can apply to your life.

When it comes to the Golden Girls, for me, the two lessons I learned from these ladies are: You can choose your family and that your life doesn’t have to end just because somebody else’s does.

via GIPHY

newsignature

12 observations about pretty little liars episode 7x04

12 Biggest Observations From Pretty Little Liars Episode 7×04

So, last night’s episode of Pretty Little Liars (which is this morning’s episode over here in the UK) 7×04, was action-packed and full of all kinds of “bitch, please” moments.

Here are the 12 most memorable moments of episode 7×04:

  1. Vehicular manslaughter is not first-degree murder.  The girls did not drive out toward the pin drop on the GPS with the intention of killing Elliot Rollins.  Although, why do they ALWAYS have four shovels with them?  I don’t even own a shovel and certainly never kept one in the trunk of my car.
  2. Spencer, I love you, but your comment “What do we tell the cops? That Hanna can’t tell the left pedal from the right?!”  That’s cold, Spence.
  3. Ali would be amazing at “the claw” machine.  Seriously.  She just stuck her hand in the dirt and pulled out Elliot’s security keycard without any need for a do-over.  #AliClawLaurentis
  4. Does Emily seriously work 2-hour shifts at the Radley?  She seemingly worked an entire shift with Spencer sitting there chugging martinis?  Also, Emily, you knew that Spencer had to drive Elliot’s car to the train station, purchase a ticket, and board the fucking train – why are you serving her tons of alcohol?  You guys already killed one dude with a car this evening.  Just saying.  #EmilyFieldsWorkEthics
  5. Caleb crying through the door about stroking Spencer’s chin dimple on a street corner was touching, but also, I feel like he needed a day to come up with that speech.  Also, Ashley Benson’s crying game is on point.  #CalebIsCoDependent
  6. Alison DID follow Charlotte into the bell tower of the church the night she died, but when she left, Charlotte was still alive.  This event is becoming the new “that night” scenario of PLL.  #WhoKilledCharlotteIsSheEvenDead
  7. Loved the “Keebler Elf” shout out while Hanna and Aria tried to relocate their car by the tree mostly likely to have housed one of the cracker eating critters.  Also, I’m glad Mona showed up with the car before these two set fire to it in a heavily wooded area.  Adding a massive wildfire arson charge to the evening isn’t what they needed.  #MonaThinksOfEverything
  8. Spencer totally used Elliot’s credit card to pay for the drinks she was slamming with the new detective she almost banged in the elevator.  Woops.  #DrunkSpencer
  9. Best line of the show goes to Jenna Marshall and her response to Emily’s question, “And you’re staying at the Radley?” to which she replied, “Oh, didn’t you hear?  My house blew up.”  #YasJennaYassss
  10.  Hanna and Mona rubbed their fingerprints and scent all over Elliot’s car.  They might as well have keyed, “Mona + Hanna BFF” on the hood.
  11. Elliot’s real name is, Archer Dunhill, but he’s not A.D.  I know that Marlene lies about things sometimes, but I believe she told us that Elliot and Mary are working with A.D. and that individual is, UBER A.   Also, he’s friendly with Jenna, and that means things are going to get even MORE confusing.
  12. Don’t worry, dear, Mary Drake is “in charge now.”

We were told by Marlene that the Liars would make “the biggest mistake of their lives” and that this error will be the FUEL to fire Uber A’s final game.  I, like many other viewers, have been wondering what the hell the “most dangerous A of all” has done that is so terrible compared to any other A — so, hopefully now that the girls done fucked up, we’ll all start to see things get scandalous.

As seen in the promo for 7×05, “Along Comes Mary.”

 

newsignature

 

 

Ten Observations From Pretty Little Liars 'Tick-Tock, Bitches'

Ten Observations From Pretty Little Liars ‘Tick-Tock, Bitches’

SPOILERS!!

Happy Wednesday!  So, I’ve watched the season premiere of Pretty Little Liars, and, I think that the episode was excellent and has certainly pushed my suspicions in a very particular direction.

First off, wtf with the masks? The masks are stressing me out. Now that I know that this show is becoming a ‘MaskFest 2016,’ I feel like it’s possible some of the characters that we are seeing could be wearing masks and not who they say they are.

Probably not, but still. That Hanna mask was crazy.

via GIPHY

So, here are ten observations I had during Tick-Tock, Bitches:

  1. The opening sequence with Emily, Spencer, and Aria digging what appears to be a grave is the cliffhanger of our midseason finale episode, 7×10. I think the entirety of season 7A is going to be the four days leading up to that scene.
  2. Mary Drake is possibly the mother of Melissa or Spencer. There were too many hints dropped during the 10-minute cup of tea between Spencer and Mary. I believe that Veronica is the adoptive mother of either Spencer or Melissa, and this would be another way for Marlene and Co. to pay homage to the books (I believe Spencer is adopted in the books, right?).
  3. According to her passport, Mary was last in London before returning to Rosewood. You know who else lives in London? Wren and Melissa. Hmmm.
  4. It was suggested, by one of the PLL writers, that there will be a “Romeo and Juliet” type of storyline. We all know that Spencer doesn’t just like Shakespeare, she loves Shakespeare.
  5. Team #Spoby? Did you see the scene when Spencer texted, “How do we know Hanna is still alive?” and the camera cut over to Toby looking at his phone?

    10 Observations From Pretty Little Liars Tick-Tock, Bitches
    Photo: Giphy
  6. Whenever someone is called out for being the killer, they are not. Alison did not murder Charlotte.
  7. I kind of love Huw Collins as creepy Elliot. (I also love that he is married to the daughter of my home state of New Hampshire’s Senator!). Also, obviously because, British.
  8. I fucking love Mona. I just do. “And then what, we waterboard her?” – the best line from the entire episode.
  9. Spencer was visiting Hanna. If we’ve learned nothing else from PLL, it’s this: When people think they are seeing another person, it’s not a vision, it’s happening.
  10. Mary Drake is a whole lot like the killer from The Woman In Black. Especially now that we know she was responsible for the death of a baby and spent over five years being admitted and discharged from Radley.

I’m excited because I think ANYTHING could happen this season. Anyone could be a villain.

10 Observations From #PrettyLittleLiars 'Tick-Tock, Bitches' #PLL #SaveHanna Click To Tweet

What are your predictions for season 7? Any thoughts on ‘Uber A’?

newsignature

Photo:  FreeForm

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 – The Countdown Begins!

Warning:  SPOILERS

If you watch Pretty Little Liars (and you’re a not-that-far-from-being-middle-aged woman who made this show her guiltiest pleasure, like yours truly), then you are probably just as excited as I am for the Season 7 premiere next Tuesday!

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 - The Countdown Begins!
Photo Credit

I admittedly calmed down with my PLL theory searching for about six weeks during the show’s current hiatus, but I’ve been back in action the past couple of weeks trying to see what types of theories are out there.

I’ve been skimming the PLL Reddit page.  No, I’m not joining it.  I kinda don’t want to be an actual part of Reddit.  I fear I will get sucked in and never come back out.  I just don’t know if I can handle that kind of commitment in my schedule right now.

 

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 - The Countdown Begins
Photo Credit

Some fans are speculating crazy things to come in season 7.

And some fans are already predicting that Marlene King and Company will let them down.

 

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 - The Countdown Begins!
Photo Credit

As for me? I’m pretty optimistic. I think that the writers have an excellent shot at both making this show come full circle and answering some of the many questions PLL viewers have had on their minds for literal seasons.

 

#SaveHanna

I think we can safely speculate that Hanna will not die, but nobody knows for sure.  That creepy promo tells us that the Liars have 24 hours to change Hanna’s fate in 7×01 “Tik-Tok Bitches.”  Marlene said that the Liars will be making the “biggest mistake of their lives”.

Judging from the trailer, me thinks it’s going to be an unintentional murder.

via GIPHY

My Top Pick PLL #ENDGAME Theory

I’ve read and seen a few theories I find interesting/plausible, but the one that is really, really solid and well-constructed is the one called “The Killer Three” by PLLTheorist.  Seriously, read it.

This theory is totally worth a read if you’re like me, and you think that Charlotte may not have told the whole truth in 6×10, because…

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 - The Countdown Begins!
Photo Credit

Of course, I’m not leaving out my semi-theory that Toby could be the one to shock us all in the end.  Toby has so many things to hate the DiLaurentis family for, not to mention, Peter Hastings.  Alison got him sent away and she blinded Jenna.  Jessica and Peter were on the board at Radley and facilitated the cover up his mother’s murder, which CeCe witnessed and was later accused to have committed.  Peter was also instrumental in convincing Toby and his father to take a settlement rather than seeking justice for his mother’s death.    And let’s also not forget that Toby’s house was blown to smithereens by “A.”  “But he helps the girls all the time” –keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

That’s the saying, right?

I’m not much for revenge, but seriously.  That’s a whole lot of shit to take off one family.  I can’t help but feel like he might have a motive or two to get his hands dirty in the end.  Plus, he made a convincing and creepy “A” helper.

Pretty Little Liars Season 7 - The Countdown Begins
Photo credit

I’m also looking forward to the return of characters like Jenna and Noel.

Tammin Sursok stated during an interview that her character will be “very much involved” in the overall storyline. Either way, with Miss Marshall’s return, we’re bound to have some good drama/possible red herrings thrown into the mix – that will hopefully keep us all on our toes.

One week to go @PrettyLittleLiars season 7! The countdown begins! #SaveHanna #TikTokBitches #PLLArmy Click To Tweet

Are you looking forward to season 7 of Pretty Little Liars? Are you still hoping that Wren is Uber A? Me too. Me too.

newsignature

 

 

fave new music + erintuition

Fave New Music #2

Since I’ve discovered the joy of Podcasts, I have been seriously neglecting music.  It’s actually quite a weird thing for me to wrap my mind around.

I used to be literally unable to function without music.  That’s why I started listening to some again recently.

Miranda Hart Dancing

I will also admit (though not included in this collection) that I like ZaYN (is that how he spells it?) Malik’s solo album.  It’s quite soulful.

Funny enough, I was over in the UK when One Direction participated on X Factor.  I vividly remember saying, “this group wouldn’t be famous in America, we’re really over boybands now!”.  Boybands are still pretty relevant in the UK.  It’s kinda ridic.

Photo credit

I ain’t no Simon Cowell.  I’m okay with this fact, though.

Anyhoo, here’s some stuff I like at the moment.

  1. “Couldn’t Believe” – Broods (Such fun).
  2. “Hurts So Good” – Astrid S  (Something I can ignore while simultaneously enjoying).
  3. “Best Love” – Yuna (Tune).
  4. “Fill in the Blank” – Car Seat Headrest (Reminds me of my angsty youth.  In the best way, of course).
  5. “DOPE” – T.I., Marsha Ambrosius (This song reminds me of 2Pac a bit, that’s why I’m feeling it.  I know, think it, it’s okay).
  6. “Since We Were Kids” – Arthur Beatrice (named after Bea Arthur of The Golden Girls – such fun!)
  7. “Summer Was A Day” – Pete Yorn (So very excited about new music from Pete!)
  8. “Chicago” – Sufjan Stevens (Oh, Sufjan, you’re so wounded and beautiful).

What tunes do you love these days?

newsignature 

ErIntuition Just No

Just no. #1

Okay, lately, I have had nothing to say.  I finished my Life Coaching and NLP Practitioner certification program — a year well spent, but it’s official ya’ll!  Who wants some help?

I also went back to America for a few weeks (which flew by way too fast!).  I ate all of the food and did none of the exercise, so, naturally it’s taken a couple of weeks to recover from my vacation.  (And all of the Trump media coverage I could barely stomach).

It’s weird; I thought going back to America would make me have a better sense of place, but, really it just made me feel like a don’t exist anywhere.   I chose to move to another country for love, and I get sad, homesick, and conflicted about where we should live all of the damn time. It’s hard to find your place in the world in general, isn’t it?

My life feels very much like an eternal LISS treadmill session right now.

Photo: Giphy

Ha.

I often tell people that I live under a rock when it comes to technology and social media so only recently have I discovered the amazingness of the Podcast.  I love listening to Podcasts.  In fact, so much that I’ve been listening to fantastic feminist Podcasts, and it’s opened my eyes so much more to how shitty most things “created” for women’s consumption truly are.

It’s a shitstorm or epic proportions.  So, I’m going to start a series of posts called, “just no,” so I can point out some of the more absurd and hilariously insulting things created “for women” that I see online, in print, and in general.

I boycotted most magazines years ago.  I ultimately decided (oh, the wasted years and self-esteem) that spending $5 on 100+ pages of photoshopped women and article upon article about how women should eat, have sex, and wear what they want but only “just enough” so that they don’t become a slut, fat, and look like a “hot mess” really isn’t a good use of any woman’s money.

So, when my mother bought me a copy of the April issue (sorry, I’m a month behind!) of Cosmopolitan while I was home,  I immediately got hives.  No offense, Kaley Cuoco, I like you, girl.  I do.  But just look at this crap covering your person!

Photo:  Cosmopolitan.com

I love how circular the cover features always are, don’t you?

  1. Text your man hot things.
  2. Blow his mind.
  3. Crack his code.
  4. Tighten your legs and butt.
  5. Get more sleep.
  6. Get up early and have coffee with your girlfriends and laugh your asses off about how you had the worst date with a “bro” who you texted four times and blew his mind and how you’ll have to find a way to make peace with the (unlikely) fact that you make more money than he does.
Photo: Giphy

I once heard these words in response to my loathe for these magazines:  “I hate to burst your bubble, but these are the things women really care about. ”

My bubble?  It has been well and truly burst.  Um, no.

If you want to send a text message, a dude can’t resist, just send him any message at any time after 2 am on a Saturday.  Trust me; you could mistakenly text him an order for pizza, and he’ll still ask you to come over.  However — and I don’t feel like I should have to point this out — any guy who is worthwhile shouldn’t need to be captivated by your sexy text messaging skills, tight butt muscles, or glowing skin.

No matter how “cutting edge” these types of magazines claim to be, they are still so simplistically offensive to women and pretty much all humans.

Things that are just no. #justno #whatever #blog Click To Tweet

Just no.

Until next time!

Do you like Women’s magazines?  If so, which ones and WHY?  

newsignature

 

 

 

 

 

Hush Hush Sweet Liars 6x20

Reactions to Hush, Hush, Sweet Liars 6×20

EnSPOILERS

Okay, so the Spring finale of Pretty Little LiarsHush, Hush, Sweet Liars” aired last night, and I have to say I was far more impressed than expected, but still not as impressed as I hoped to have been.  If that makes sense?  So, for literal years (well, months for me as a binge watcher) loyal PLL viewers have been teased with the possibility of a character having a twin.  In last night’s finale episode, we received this twin in the form of Mary Drake, the twin sister of the late Jessica DiLaurentis.  And, bitch is cray.

Apparently, the imbalanced side of the DiLaurentis clan predominantly lies with Jessica’s (and Mary’s) side.

Before moving on, let’s dissect a bit further, shall we?

In the famous “Twin Story” Ali told at the beginning of episode 2×13, we saw two sisters playing with dolls and one stabbed the other.  Do I guess these two might have been urban legendish versions of Jessica DiLaurentis and Mary Drake as young girls?  Let’s just say that this is true — they are the girls in the story — I’m also guessing that the sister with the machete was Mary.

via GIPHY

This theory could be the reason for the discovery of Mary’s patient file Spencer, Toby, and Mona discovered in the hotel’s basement.  Inside of Mary’s Radley records showed that Charles (Charlotte?) DiLaurentis was the son she gave birth to while she was a patient there.  The record showed Charles (Charlotte?) was the same age as Jason.  The record also revealed that Jessica and Kenneth DiLaurentis adopted Charles (Charlotte?) when he was a baby.

So, now for some more questions.  Obviously.

Are we still to believe that Charles and CeCe equal Charlotte?

Are we to believe that Mary killed Jessica?  

Are we to believe that CeCe (Charlotte) knew Jessica wasn’t her biological mother?  I mean, her fake name was CeCe Drake, after all.  

Who the FUCK called Charlotte from Two Crows Diner the night she was murdered?  

Why does Mary Drake have a vendetta against Jessica and Ali?

Moving on.

I’m probably going to blow people’s worlds away right now when I declare this, but, I don’t give a shit for the ‘ships.’  I mean, I love the relationships and all, but they are not why I watch (or even like) the show.  I don’t care if any of them end up together one way or another.  I would love all of the PLL characters to have happy endings and if it happens, great, but I don’t mind if it’s with one another or not.

INTUITIVE PESSIMIST here, sorry!

However, I will say that the Ezria sex scene was kind of hot, though.  Also, watching Tyler Blackburn get dressed wasn’t too bad on the eyes either.

Okay, let’s talk FINAL twists.

We all called it (well, I know I did) Rollins is sketchy AF.  I knew he was a creep, and I realize this, in no way, shape or form gives me any Nancy Drew street cred or anything, but yeah, homeboy is not only a trifling d-bag, but he’s also English!  Many of us are now thinking (hoping, more like) that he possibly has a connection to Dr. Wren Kingston.  I would say it’s just a coincidence that they are both English, but we all know there are only two types of occurrences that happen in Rosewood:  Those that make sense deliberately (but not always obviously) and things that the writers have included that don’t pan out and never amount to anything.

via GIPHY

Also, Alison checked her ass into the mental hospital rather quickly, didn’t she?  I mean it’s been like two or three days since she “fell” down the stairs and she’s just committing herself.  I know that TV has to move quickly, but just saying, I was in a relationship with a sociopath for nearly three years before I noticed I was convinced things were “all in my head.”

In Ali’s defense, though, this shit isn’t in her head it’s her crazy long-lost aunt and her new husband are trying to get rid of her and steal her money.

The middle class is disappearing, people.  #FeelTheBern

And finally, WHO IS A.D. and where the hell did HE/SHE take Hanna?

via GIPHY

Marlene King gave us four Season 7 clues last night and one of them was that “A.D. IS THE ‘BIG BAD'” — and I’m guessing, whoever this person is, it’s probably “A.” Drake.  The MOTHER of all A’s.

via GIPHY

SPOILERS Reactions on the PLL Spring Finale, Mary Drake, and A.D. #PLLArmy #PLLFINALE #MaryDrake #WHOISAD Click To Tweet

I’ve made a pact with myself that I’m not going to try to figure this one out over the show’s hiatus because I should be doing other things with my life.

In fairness, I haven’t joined the PLL Reddit discussion, though, so I’m obviously not fully committed to this obsession just yet.

SPOILER:  I may be soon.

Also, I’m going to watch Bates Motel.  

What did you think of the 6×20 PLL Finale?  Are you happy, mad, sad, or what?  Personally, I believe that it will all tie together in the end, and we can all be proud of our perseverance and commitment to this show.  Are you with me?

Let’s connect!

newsignature

 

We've All Got Baggage 6x17

We’ve All Got Baggage

I LOATHE the expression, “We’ve all got baggage” — I think it’s super patronizing and annoying.   The saying probably annoys me the most because it’s TRUE.

I used to live such a simplistic life thinking everybody else had it “easier” than I did.   After becoming a fitness professional and coach, you learn that absolutely every single person does, indeed, have baggage.  Some more than others.  But, we’re not talking about my experience today.  No.  We’re talking about Pretty Little Liars episode 6×17 aptly titled, “We’ve All Got Baggage.”  And, omg, it was a HEAVY episode.

Okay, first off, I find Caleb SOOOOOO shady.  I love him, but lately, I am all kinds of suspicious of him.  Seriously at the end of every Caleb scene I’m like…

Pretty Little Liars 6x17
Photo credit

Secondly, now that we KNOW there’s an identical twin who’s about to show up on the scene, I found myself pausing the screen and staring at it a couple of times.

My first pause during 6×17 was the scene right before the opening credits. The housekeeping lady came out of the bathroom with the creepy Bellhop mask and glasses.  Am I wrong in thinking she KINDA looked like Spencer?  Was it really a Spencer mask??

The second pause was during the wedding scene.  If you look in the background, there’s totally a character (though, blurry) who resembles  Mona or Spencer.  Naturally, Aria would have noticed this and said, “Um, I didn’t invite you”, but maybe not?

At the end of the episode, when they showed the famous closing “hand scene” there was a slice of wedding cake.  So, whoever it was, they totally crashed that wedding and would have had to have gone unnoticed,  Like, perhaps, because they look exactly like somebody else?

I think that now I’m just looking for twins.  I came up with a theory that Spencer is a double.  Isn’t it weird how when she returned to the barn at the beginning of the pilot episode that she was robotic?  Like, she was some Terminator character with Spencer’s memory but disconnected and loopy unlike her?  I mean, I know she was jacked up on Adderall, or whatever, but still.

Sometimes I think Spencer has to store some of her brains in another head to be as smart and full of facts as she is,  right?

The “Ezria” situation finally reared it’s head to Aria’s new love interest, Liam.  He seemed to get over it pretty quickly, though.

Things that make you go, “hmm”?

I’m over this Ali and Dr. Rollins storyline.  That guy has to end up being a creep or else, seriously, why?  He has been pretty pointless up until now.

Also, about that flashback with Melissa and Hannah in London.  I’m sorry, but Melissa is tres cray, and I also think that she has an obsession with Wren.  I don’t believe that it’s love; I believe that it’s a chemical imbalance.  I also will be super pissed off if Wren is not part of the overall storyline.  Wren is so shady and, I believe, he had more to do with the 6A finale than we saw.  Why would he be calling Charlotte (CeCe) in the mental hospital?  Didn’t Mona confess to killing Bethany Young in the midseason finale?  Then again, maybe Wren and Bethany are related?

SO.  MANY.  QUESTIONS.

I’m looking forward to listening to my two new fave podcasts, Taking This One to the Grave on Bustle.com and Bros Watch PLL Too.  If you’re not listening to either of these, and you’re a PLL fan, you’re missing out.  I can’t wait to hear what these two teams think about the latest PLL episode!

Three episodes until the season finale!  I’m sure it will be a cliffhanger.

I bet my husband can’t wait.

Who do I think the #PLL #Twin is? Thoughts on 6x17 and more! #PrettyLittleLiars #PLLArmy #BigBad Click To Tweet

Any thoughts on 6×17?  Who might have the twin?  How much of your life is consumed by this 45-minute show?  

Let’s connect!

newsignature