how-to-instantly-age-yourself

Go on MTV.com.

Seriously.

I just went on there to read a Pretty Little Liars interview (I know, somehow THAT doesn’t make me feel old??) and started to scroll through their news feed, and I literally couldn’t find anything relevant to my life.

There were names of people and tv shows that I have never even heard of.

I have many times admitted to pretty much living under a rock, but still when the hell did I get so old?

The same thing happens to me when things get added on Netflix.

For instance, the other day I was so excited that they added Party of Five (I will always heart Griffin Holbrook/Jeremy London), and as soon as the show started, I remembered when it premiered. I was 14 when that show started. I was a freshman in high school.

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Not the London from Dazed and Confused.  Photo credit: Pinterest

Also, Gretchen Wieners was, like, 11 when the Party started.  Whenever I do the Mean Girls math, I remember that film came out in 2004!

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Gretchen Wieners before her hair was full of secrets. (Pinterest)

Sweet baby cheeses.

My 20th high school reunion is NEXT YEAR.

This just can’t be.

But it is.

I can’t sit with anyone.  I can’t fit in.

And you want to know why?

how-to-instanly-age-yourself

Photo credit: Salon.com

Word, Darryl Philbin.

If you’re old(ish), when do you realize this fact? What pop culture triggers you into instantly aging yourself?

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So, I’m an expat, but I’m still an American citizen.  So are the rest of my family and friends back home in America.

This past election was beyond divisive and horrible, and it’s not looking like things are going to get much better.

All along, there was one woman who could have explained why working people are sick of the establishment, and it certainly wasn’t Hillary Clinton.

There was also one woman who could tell us all, perfectly, how the establishment will work to “keep jobs” in the USA.

And she explains it far better than any pundit or politician ever could have.

So, here it is…

Roseanne attempted to run for President, and there’s a movie documenting it.  She’s a bit out there, but this clip from the mid 90’s couldn’t be truer today.

So, now that we’ve all soaked in that ray of the sunshine, who’s thirsty?  Ugh.

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How are you feeling nearly a month out?  Here’s to hoping that 2017 isn’t as giant a dumpster fire as 2016 has been, but I don’t have much hope.  Do you?

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Things People Shouldn't Do

I’m back.  I haven’t been here for a hot minute.  You’re about to find out why.  I’ve been in hiding (and studying).

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to offer the world.  Just this past week I coached two people into following their passions and believing in themselves.

The outcomes?

They both got new careers and couldn’t be happier.

Pursuing passions and starting new careers are things people should do.

I think – and I’m surely not alone here –  there are many things I can strongly urge people shouldn’t do.

And thus, a new topic of conversation has been introduced to the blog.

Things people shouldn’t do.

Things People Shouldn't Do

 

What I’m going to tell you today would sound like common sense to most, but believe me, I used to think my common sense was stronger than my book smarts.

I thought this observation was accurate until I watched YouTube while holding scissors.

Yes, this past June, on one of my monthly trips down the YouTube Rabbit Hole, I did the very thing that I IMPLORE you not do.  I watched a tutorial on how to cut bangs (or, fringe as they say here in the UK), pulled out the scissors, and I cut my fucking hair.

Instant regret.  Even to this day, October 7th, I am reminded of this horrible life choice.

I won’t even show you a picture.  I will instead provide you with a visual aid to give you an idea what my hair looked like for approximately 45 days.

Things You Shouldn't Do

Photo credit: BuzzFeed via portlandmercury.com

The sad thing is, I have done this before.  MULTIPLE times.

MULTIPLE times.

Every time I think, “This time it will be different, I will look good” and then, yeah, never.

You know that famously misquoted saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.”?  That’s me when it comes to bangs.

It’s maddening.

Things You Shouldn't Do (Cut Your Own Bangs)

I’m crazy when it comes to my hair.  But I don’t think I’m alone, and that is why I am making this public service announcement.

No matter how fantastic the YouTuber, DO NOT watch their tutorial on how to cut your own hair while holding scissors.

You will cut, and you could very possibly end up looking like shit.

Being held captive in your apartment for the entire summer, imprisoned by bobby pins.

And especially noteworthy:  If you live in a climate where it rains all the fucking time (like I do) DON’T do bangs/fringe.  You will get rained on, and you will look like Brett Michaels.

Heed my warning.

Expectation:  (I blame Zooey for this every single time.)

Things You Shouldn't Do

Photo credit: Pinterest/Google

Reality: (And I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest.)

Things You Shouldn't Do

Photo credit: Google

Any questions?

Visit a professional and let them talk you out of it.

The regrowth period.  Is.  Painful.

No.

Oops!  I did it again.

Have you ever cut your own hair?  Did you regret it?  I still love YouTube, tho.

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Out on the Lanai

So, the other day, while cruising the Interwebs, I stumbled upon something spectacular.

Wanna know what it was?

A Golden Girls podcast.

Whaaaaaaaaat?

That’s right.  A GOLDEN GIRLS PODCAST.

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It’s called “Out on the Lanai” and it is fantabulous.

Out on the Lanai: A Golden Girls Podcast

Photo Credit: Out on the Lanai

Ever since I turned 30, the Golden Girls have been, like, my religion.

If I’m sad, sick, tired, or whatever extreme mood I may be in, I know there’s an episode or two of the Girls that will take my mind off of my life.  Well, at least for 20 minutes to an hour.

I can’t even tell you what my favourite episode is; I don’t think it’s even possible to have just one?

I also can’t even tell you which GG is my favourite.

Though, I did take a “Which Golden Girl Are You?” quiz and as it stands now, I got Sophia and Dorothy.

Out on the Lanai

I’m not mad.  In fact, my best friend always used to tell me that I was like a mixture of Dorothy’s sarcasm and level-headedness and Sophia’s sass and wit.

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So, the hosts of “Out on the Lanai”, H. Alan Scott and Kerri Doherty, are super hilarious.  And they often have equally entertaining guests on their podcast episodes.

I’m all kinds of jealous that I don’t have another GG enthusiast to do a podcast with because the show is timeless.  Sure, some of the social issues they touched on are dated, but let’s face it – this show will be treasured forever, and it is irreplaceable.

One of the things I love the most about the OOTL podcast is that they do a “golden take away” from each episode – a tiny bit of wisdom you can take to heart and can apply to your life.

When it comes to the Golden Girls, for me, the two lessons I learned from these ladies are: You can choose your family and that your life doesn’t have to end just because somebody else’s does.

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