Things People Shouldn't Do

Things People Shouldn’t Do #1 (Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs)

I’m back.  I haven’t been here for a hot minute.  You’re about to find out why.  I’ve been in hiding (and studying).

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to offer the world.  Just this past week I coached two people into following their passions and believing in themselves.

The outcomes?

They both got new careers and couldn’t be happier.

Pursuing passions and starting new careers are things people should do.

I think – and I’m surely not alone here –  there are many things I can strongly urge people shouldn’t do.

And thus, a new topic of conversation has been introduced to the blog.

Things people shouldn’t do.

Things People Shouldn't Do

 

What I’m going to tell you today would sound like common sense to most, but believe me, I used to think my common sense was stronger than my book smarts.

I thought this observation was accurate until I watched YouTube while holding scissors.

Yes, this past June, on one of my monthly trips down the YouTube Rabbit Hole, I did the very thing that I IMPLORE you not do.  I watched a tutorial on how to cut bangs (or, fringe as they say here in the UK), pulled out the scissors, and I cut my fucking hair.

Instant regret.  Even to this day, October 7th, I am reminded of this horrible life choice.

I won’t even show you a picture.  I will instead provide you with a visual aid to give you an idea what my hair looked like for approximately 45 days.

Things You Shouldn't Do
Photo credit: BuzzFeed via portlandmercury.com

The sad thing is, I have done this before.  MULTIPLE times.

MULTIPLE times.

Every time I think, “This time it will be different, I will look good” and then, yeah, never.

You know that famously misquoted saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.”?  That’s me when it comes to bangs.

It’s maddening.

Things You Shouldn't Do (Cut Your Own Bangs)

I’m crazy when it comes to my hair.  But I don’t think I’m alone, and that is why I am making this public service announcement.

No matter how fantastic the YouTuber, DO NOT watch their tutorial on how to cut your own hair while holding scissors.

You will cut, and you could very possibly end up looking like shit.

Being held captive in your apartment for the entire summer, imprisoned by bobby pins.

And especially noteworthy:  If you live in a climate where it rains all the fucking time (like I do) DON’T do bangs/fringe.  You will get rained on, and you will look like Brett Michaels.

Heed my warning.

Expectation:  (I blame Zooey for this every single time.)

Things You Shouldn't Do
Photo credit: Pinterest/Google

Reality: (And I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest.)

Things You Shouldn't Do
Photo credit: Google

Any questions?

Visit a professional and let them talk you out of it.

The regrowth period.  Is.  Painful.

No.
Oops!  I did it again.

Have you ever cut your own hair?  Did you regret it?  I still love YouTube, tho.

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Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars has Forced Me Into a Pre-Midlife Crisis

Okay, I’m being a scoatch dramatic, but seriously, I shouldn’t ever have started watching Pretty Little Liars.  I am ob-s-e-ssed.    I literally stayed up one night watching YouTube theories created by 15-year-olds with questionable spelling skills.  I mean no disrespect, you are (and will always be) a much better human than I am.

It pretty much looked like this when my husband woke up to find me the next morning.

Binge Watching ErIntuitino
Photo: Bustle.com

But seriously.  This show is crack.  CRACK.  I have found myself being like some merlot-induced tv vigilante trying to find out for myself what the BIG ending shocker will be for PLL.  Why do I want to know?  I hated the mid-season finale for season 6A, but I love Marlene King and have faith that she’s been making everything just so to blow us all away.  You know, like the first time you ate Olestra based potato chips and totally shit yourself.  The kind of blown away when you know it’s too good to be true, but you’re going to keep coming back because it just hurts so good.

The latest confirmation is that THERE IS A TWIN, and I feel like it’s either Bethany and CeCe or Bethany and Mona or Bethany and Sara.  It’s probably not any of them (and that’s why I don’t write for TV — I mean, that and the fact that I have commitment issues with my ideas).

WHO IS THE TWIN????

“Come on, Marlene …I mean, who is the twin?  At this moment, it means EVVVVVVERYTHING.”

I just made that shit up.

Like, I needed to clarify that I did.

Pretty Little Liars is forcing me into Pre-Midlife Crisis #BigBad #PLL #TwinTheory Click To Tweet

WHO IS UBER A/BIG BAD?  Is he/she THE TWIN?  Am I insane?

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